A total nightmare. I remember a client who spent ten thousand dollars just to get a single hearing date. She thought the judge would finally listen to her side of the story regarding the house. She was wrong.
Me and my colleagues often say court is a last resort. The law actually forces you to try mediation first in most family law situations. It’s not just a suggestion made by grumpy lawyers who want to go home early. It is required.
Why you can’t…
Section 60I certificates. You cannot even file an application for parenting orders without this specific piece of paper. It proves to the court that you sat in a room and tried to be reasonable. Gosh!
Barking up the wrong tree. If you think you can skip this step, you’ll find your paperwork sent back immediately. The current status as it stands now is that mediation is the gatekeeper. Stay focused.
Actually, let me—wait, I forgot to mention the filing fees—sorry, I’ll get back to that in a second. You see, the court system is essentially a clogged drain. It cannot handle the sheer volume of people who want to fight over a toaster. Mediation is the plumber.
Parenting orders and the…
The absolute priority. When children are involved, the law is very strict about trying to “work it out” first. You have to attend Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) with a registered practitioner. It’s hard.
Emotional exhaustion is common. Most parents find the process of discussing holiday schedules and school zones to be incredibly draining. However, it is still much better than letting a stranger decide your child’s life. Trust me.
(Aside: The biscuits in those mediation rooms are always strangely dry, have you noticed that? It’s like they want you to reach a deal just so you can leave and get a proper snack.)
Property settlements often require…
Pre-action procedures. Even if you aren’t fighting over kids, you still have to follow the rules for money, cars and houses. The court don’t like it when you show up without trying to settle. They want to see a paper trail.
A genuine effort. This means you must exchange all your financial documents, bank statements, and tax returns before the first meeting. If you hide things, the whole process falls apart like a cheap tent. It’s frustrating.
When safety means you…
The major exception. If there has been family violence or there is an urgent risk to a child, mediation is not required. You don’t have to sit in a room with someone who has hurt you. That’s vital.
Safety first, always. You can apply for an “exemption” so you can head straight to the courtroom for protection. This is the only time the 12-month wait or the mediation hurdle is truly bypassed. Be brave.
If you refuse to…
Possible cost penalties. If you just decide to be difficult and refuse to attend a scheduled mediation session, the judge will be annoyed. They have the power to order you to pay the other person’s legal costs. It’s expensive.
Future plans for the future. By settling in mediation, you save your relationship from the total destruction that usually happens during a trial. Trials turn people into enemies for life, which is a terrible way to co-parent. Think ahead.
Mediation is always a walk in the park.
It’s actually quite a bit of work. You have to be prepared to compromise on things you feel very strongly about. But at the end of the day, you get to sign the agreement yourself. You’re in control.
The legal fees, stress, and time involved in a full trial are rarely worth the outcome. Most people find that the deal they get in mediation is about 80% of what they wanted. In court, you might get 50% and a massive bill. Do the math.
Getting the right help…
Look for experts. You need a mediator who understands the nuances of the law and the complexities of human emotion. It’s a delicate balance that requires a lot of patience from everyone involved. Don’t give up.
A fresh start. Once that mediation agreement is turned into “Consent Orders,” it has the same power as a judge’s decision. You get the finality you need without the trauma of a witness box. It’s worth it.
The past history of the situation doesn’t have to define your next ten years. Take the mediation seriously, bring your documents, and try to leave the anger at the door. You’ll thank me later. I promise.
Handwritten-style note: Make sure you bring your tax returns, bank statements and property valuations to the first session!
